By: Zy Marquiez
November 18, 2015
“Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to things and people that stress you out.”
– Thema Davis
“Good things happen when you distance yourself from negative people.”
“Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Have fun. Fall in love. Regret nothing, and don’t let people bring you down.”
“Strong people don’t put others down…they lift them up.
– Michael P. Watson
“Walk away from anything or anything who takes away from your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.”
Recently saw someone portray issues with their friends/loved ones in a matter that made me ponder.
For quite some time this person [although this scenario applies to many] has had continued friction with others. Without going into the details into the situation, and maintaining a macro view without taking sides, the scenario has been repeated quite often. In fact, often enough that it makes one wonder why would someone put themselves through repeated pain if they need not?
Of course there are a veritable cluster of reasons for this, but the focus of this post is not on the negative ultimately. In fact, by noticing that which we take great issue with, not only do we reasonably see what causes us issues, but we can see the opposite side of the spectrum. We can take note of what we do want, or in this case, who we do want in our lives.
Which brings me to my next point.
What brings you up? Who brings you up?
Are you cognizant deep down inside of it? Many folks believe that they are, ultimately to repeat the same mistake over, and over, and over, and so on. This might be personal, financial, or other.
Dealing with this can be quite trying; definitely know this personally as think most of us do.
Still though, why not some introspection and see what we can gather?
Why not bring those people that lift us up into the fold, rather than have folks run all over our spirits day in and day out. And no, am not talking about circumstances where one has to be with said person, or through said issue, such as work. Although there is something to be said for not acting on that which causes you pain/harm etc.
Am talking about the simplest of problems that people can rectify if they were to realize that they are far simpler to solve – in some cases – then some realize.
Perhaps by bringing more folks into our sphere that share y/our values, y/our true values, and beliefs [and not just religious, either] we can transcend into a greater, healthier experience in this life of ours.
This seems very obvious, and yet, its not done as much as it could be. This is speaking from experience and that of close friends at least. Why not?
First, many people hate to be wrong in all of the permutations that that entails. Would be interesting to know how a variety of cultures would react to certain scenarios; here in the West though, starting at the top self-responsibility seems to be a foregone thought. The top being politics, institutions, corporations, and so on.
Secondly, some folks are stubborn. That can be a good quality at times, but at others, its like attempting to move a wall. It just won’t happen no matter how hard you try.
Third, and most importantly, the people that can inflict various forms of mental/psychological/financial harm on us, happen to be the folks many people gravitate towards. Kind of ironic isn’t it?
This is partly because they seem more interesting. They seem more fun, and they might be in a sense. They also seem more alluring in a variety of departments. Still though, by their deeds they are known, and jerks folks that have extensive resumes in screwing people over, shouldn’t be given the benefit of the doubt. Especially over and over and over again.
As an addendum, this is not throwing people that make mistakes under the bus. Not even close. We all make mistakes. Am precisely talking about the people that repeatedly leech your time, finances and energy – all of which are highly important in our society – and nigh always end up on the better side of the debacle, with you to pick up whatever pieces are strewn about. They also rarely if ever contribute anything positive to you, and many times if they do, they act as they are you doing you a favor by just breathing air. The 10-ton stones on some folks right!
Moving forward, we should always be striving to do our best, and many times doing our best includes making the simplest best choices for us. Positive relationships in all walks of life are a beautiful sunset to our eyes, are an exquisite meal to our body, and a breath of fresh air to our soul. Those relationships are energizing rather than the converse. They make life worth living in more ways than oft get mentioned.
If you know someone that might need some help, why not lend a hand? Nobody wants to face issues alone, especially if they don’t even know there are any in the first place. Be wary of denial though! That might make a situation worse.
Ultimately, we can only lead our own lives to the very bests of our ability if we choose, and our ability to help others rests in what choices they make to better themselves. If that includes you, great. If not, find someone else.
Life is too short to be clinging to folks that bring about negative change in your life. This beautiful thing we call life, offers a beautiful kaleidoscope of choices that will aid us in more ways we could imagine. But only if one chooses.
So, who/what lifts YOUR spirits up? Well! What are you waiting for!? Get to it. Take some time for yourself and make someone’s day while you’re at it.
Each one, reach one.
One that note:
“If you feel like your ship is sinking, it might be a good time to throw out the stuff that’s been weighing it down. Let go of people who bring you down, and surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you.”
“Surround yourself with the dreams and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you.”