300 Word Memories #5 – Friendship

friendship
TheBreakaway
Zy Marquiez
March 6, 2017

Friendship is something that we all share with someone to varying degrees, and under a variety of circumstances.  Friends, true friends, should be able to go through thick and thin, no matter what the obstacle.  The greater the obstacle, the quicker one will find out who their friends are.  With that said, with the recent divide and conquer left-right paradigm political climate that always takes place during election, lots of friendships were tested.

Recently, noticed myself that a lot of people kept throwing other individuals they considered ‘friends’ under the bus, simply because those people employed varying beliefs.  Saw this take place literally dozens of times over the last six months, and it’s quite mindboggling to say the least.  In fact, it’s still taking place to some extent.

All of these issues make me wonder if the virtue of friendship hasn’t been cheapened, when compared to what it was like in the past, when say, people like J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis were friends.  Mind you, Tolkien and Lewis, although sharing much in common, did not agree on everything.

This increasing pattern makes me wonder whether or not what people call friendship nowadays is nothing more than a shell of its former ideal.

Ironically, the very people throwing others under the bus for being who they really are, are themselves the ones demanding other individuals to respect those very same qualities.   Talk about hypocritical!

In a world where people gain ‘friends’, seemingly with every new minute, it does seem that to some extent the quality of friendship/acquaintances has been cheapened.  But perhaps, by that very nature, when true unbounded friendship is achieved, it is vastly more meaningful than it ever could be.

It seems with time, more and more people just want others to be a clone of themselves.  They want to talk to a mirror for the rest of their lives.  They want the mirror to reply, exactly how they themselves would reply.  Every.  Single.  Time.  That’s a highly disturbing proposition.

What’s the world coming to when other people want to literally program you to be who they want you to be?  Perhaps, this is taking place because from the bottom up, that’s exactly what the system does to us.

From youth, the public school system has taught society how to conform in astounding degrees.  This can be seen here, here, and here.  So it’s no wonder that now the people that have been conforming their whole lives want others to conform.  That doesn’t justify what’s taking place, but it helps shed a shred of light unto this conundrum.

Regardless of that, however, if there’s one positive thing to take from this it is that, if someone’s not your true friend, they will just be an anchor upon your ship, and hold you back.  Nothing positive can come from someone that wishes you to conform, regardless of what you believe.  That simply shows these people did not respect nor value the friendship and what it truly means.

Just as a ship can’t move while being held back by the weight of a broken anchor that can’t be pulled back, some individuals won’t be able to move forward through life with people holding them back in similar fashion.  That’s why it’s vital to breakaway from toxic relationships.

After all, those who really are your friends, deep down inside, will never put you through such circumstances.  In fact, they will go with you above in beyond, through hell and back and always be there, right by your side, to the end – because that’s what true friendship is about.

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Conformity Crisis – [Part 2]

ConformityKennedy

By: Zy Marquiez
December 2, 2015

“If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.”
– Rollo May

In part one, we discussed how individuals groups of people often conform to particular ideas based upon what they have often learned from others rather than what they chose for themselves.

Here, we will touch upon other examples where folks conform with or without their knowledge.

In many instances one can see individuals a group of people walking down the street wearing just one color clothing. Just one. Not even two. That would be way too hard. One – *phew* – that took a lot of effort! The boundless color-wheel is the kryptonite to their monochromatic reality. The interesting part is, that many [didn’t say all mind you] of those individuals just traded one system of ideas for another.

One can definitely see that they wanted to “be different” and “stand out,” except in the process of rebelling they didn’t use their imagination to find a solution that made them happy, they just chose to wear the latest idea of rebellion conformity brought about by others.   And heaven forbid if they dare use their imagination challenge the group.

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On the opposite side of the spectrum, about a lifetime yonder, yours truly was friends with a variety of adolescents from different walks of life.  Different nationalities, different social/wealth backgrounds, religions, the works.  Although we each opted to conform in our different ways, the one way we stood out was in the make-up of our group.

Our ‘core’ group of friends was composed of a black kid, three white kids, an asian, two mexicans, two puertorican, and a Greek kid. Talk about the spice of life!  We could have started one interesting restaurant.

All jest aside, at times whenever we were seen rummaging about the neighborhood, some people gawked at us like it was Satan’s children venturing out of the furnace. It was quite amusing. It was like an adolescent version of the United Nations, except without the nonsense and the drama. Unfortunately, others viewed us like we weren’t even supposed to consider such a sacrilegious undertaking. Sadly, it was them who were in the wrong.  Thankfully though, our parents were very supportive of these friendships.

Those nascent friendships strengthened our resolve in this cookie-cutter world. Thankfully, none of those negative views ever strayed us away from who we truly wished to be in certain respects.

Now, getting to know folks from different races, creeds, religions, and so on, is a walk in the park for myself. Why? Because we all have seen good and bad in every one of those branches of society, and it would be highly ignorant to think that just because the minority of a particular group of people chooses to act in any detrimental way, that the majority should be cast in the same light. It is that very mentality that aids in the left/right global mind-control didactic that is often pushed onto the populace.

Back then, we would have better conversations about life, purpose and meaning, whenever we would together far more often than most adults have now. How is this known?  Any real semblance of a real conversation one wishes to undertake these days is met with askance glances as if one just asked for the equation for light speed.

In any case, getting back on track, those imaginative discussions of ours were by far my favorite part of growing up, ruminating about the mysteries of life without a map, but that’s what made it beautiful. Why? Because people weren’t breathing down or necks telling us what to believe and selling us their latest version of reality. Our imagination was boundless – we played, we talked, we drew, we conquered, we went on adventures and let nothing stop us.

It was a long time before it was possible for me to run into any people that really saw reality as a breathless expanse – a blank page, a blank canvas – instead of the boring conformity-induced reality that is so prevalent today.

Years ago began finding some of these folks in the most interesting and ironic of places. Life was life, and paths converged, and new adventures began.

Gravitating to these folks was natural, like breathing. They were my brethren – comrades in arms ready to take on life in individual relentless ways that challenge your very soul. Pondering everything. Holding nothing back.  They elevated my well being quite profoundly to say the least.

In any case, this post was originally meant to head in a different direction, but that didn’t feel right at the time. Gotta’ follow your instincts, right?

One thing that has become clearer to me over time is that those people that truly stand out don’t fall into systems – any systems. They just are. They let the dice roll where they may. They are each alphas. They each command their own constellations of reality in ways most couldn’t dream of. It often ends up leaving them misunderstood, because people can’t imagine things could be ‘that way’ – i.e. lack of imagination.

Still, they plow forth undeterred, for anything else for them would be selling out, not being authentic, and ultimately not living in a meaningful way. And that’s simply unacceptable.

You all have a wonderful day.

Let’s digress:

“Creativity is not the work of a few. We each carry within us the image of God the Creator; we each have the task of making the earth into a fairer, kinder place. The first step is imagining a better world, and that is most apt to happen when we suffer or look on suffering.”
– Elizabeth O’Connor

 

Who Lifts You Up?

By: Zy Marquiez
November 18, 2015

“Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to things and people that stress you out.”
– Thema Davis

“Good things happen when you distance yourself from negative people.”

“Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Have fun. Fall in love. Regret nothing, and don’t let people bring you down.”

“Strong people don’t put others down…they lift them up.
– Michael P. Watson

“Walk away from anything or anything who takes away from your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.”

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Recently saw someone portray issues with their friends/loved ones in a matter that made me ponder.

For quite some time this person [although this scenario applies to many] has had continued friction with others. Without going into the details into the situation, and maintaining a macro view without taking sides, the scenario has been repeated quite often. In fact, often enough that it makes one wonder why would someone put themselves through repeated pain if they need not?

Of course there are a veritable cluster of reasons for this, but the focus of this post is not on the negative ultimately. In fact, by noticing that which we take great issue with, not only do we reasonably see what causes us issues, but we can see the opposite side of the spectrum. We can take note of what we do want, or in this case, who we do want in our lives.

Which brings me to my next point.

What brings you up? Who brings you up?

Are you cognizant deep down inside of it? Many folks believe that they are, ultimately to repeat the same mistake over, and over, and over, and so on. This might be personal, financial, or other.

Dealing with this can be quite trying; definitely know this personally as think most of us do.

Still though, why not some introspection and see what we can gather?

Why not bring those people that lift us up into the fold, rather than have folks run all over our spirits day in and day out. And no, am not talking about circumstances where one has to be with said person, or through said issue, such as work. Although there is something to be said for not acting on that which causes you pain/harm etc.

Am talking about the simplest of problems that people can rectify if they were to realize that they are far simpler to solve – in some cases – then some realize.

Perhaps by bringing more folks into our sphere that share y/our values, y/our true values, and beliefs [and not just religious, either] we can transcend into a greater, healthier experience in this life of ours.

This seems very obvious, and yet, its not done as much as it could be. This is speaking from experience and that of close friends at least. Why not?

First, many people hate to be wrong in all of the permutations that that entails. Would be interesting to know how a variety of cultures would react to certain scenarios; here in the West though, starting at the top self-responsibility seems to be a foregone thought. The top being politics, institutions, corporations, and so on.

Secondly, some folks are stubborn. That can be a good quality at times, but at others, its like attempting to move a wall. It just won’t happen no matter how hard you try.

Third, and most importantly, the people that can inflict various forms of mental/psychological/financial harm on us, happen to be the folks many people gravitate towards. Kind of ironic isn’t it?

This is partly because they seem more interesting. They seem more fun, and they might be in a sense.  They also seem more alluring in a variety of departments. Still though, by their deeds they are known, and jerks folks that have extensive resumes in screwing people over, shouldn’t be given the benefit of the doubt. Especially over and over and over again.

As an addendum, this is not throwing people that make mistakes under the bus. Not even close. We all make mistakes. Am precisely talking about the people that repeatedly leech your time, finances and energy – all of which are highly important in our society – and nigh always end up on the better side of the debacle, with you to pick up whatever pieces are strewn about. They also rarely if ever contribute anything positive to you, and many times if they do, they act as they are you doing you a favor by just breathing air. The 10-ton stones on some folks right!

Moving forward, we should always be striving to do our best, and many times doing our best includes making the simplest best choices for us. Positive relationships in all walks of life are a beautiful sunset to our eyes, are an exquisite meal to our body, and a breath of fresh air to our soul. Those relationships are energizing rather than the converse. They make life worth living in more ways than oft get mentioned.

If you know someone that might need some help, why not lend a hand? Nobody wants to face issues alone, especially if they don’t even know there are any in the first place. Be wary of denial though! That might make a situation worse.

Ultimately, we can only lead our own lives to the very bests of our ability if we choose, and our ability to help others rests in what choices they make to better themselves. If that includes you, great. If not, find someone else.

Life is too short to be clinging to folks that bring about negative change in your life. This beautiful thing we call life, offers a beautiful kaleidoscope of choices that will aid us in more ways we could imagine. But only if one chooses.

So, who/what lifts YOUR spirits up? Well! What are you waiting for!? Get to it. Take some time for yourself and make someone’s day while you’re at it.

Each one, reach one.

One that note:

“If you feel like your ship is sinking, it might be a good time to throw out the stuff that’s been weighing it down. Let go of people who bring you down, and surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you.”

“Surround yourself with the dreams and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you.”